Running Interference, how to avoid getting in your own way.

Are you running interference in your love life?

It’s a question worth pondering.

Recently I was having a conversation with someone about the new person they had just met. I simply asked, ‘What did you think of him?’ And the resulting answer was a laundry list of why he would be no good, none of which had anything to do with what she thought of him. With laser precision she created a complete story line based on the little information she had gleaned from her first encounter, as to why it wouldn’t work.

Do not pass go, no potential, or opportunities here – full stop.

Now, don’t get me wrong, discernment is important, but it also requires context. Context is what allows you to truly find out if the story you are telling resides in actual truth, the truth of the present, or is just a retelling of your old emotional stories from relationships past.

So how do you do that?

Just like the news – you fact check.

This does not involve an interrogation, and hiring a P.I., but rather an inner dialogue with yourself.

Asking questions like:

Why am I discounting this person? Is my reason true and based on experience with this individual? Or is this old hurts coming up that are skewing my judgement?

Have I asked for clarity on this topic or issue I am concerned about, or have I made an assumption?

Has this person actually been given the opportunity to show me who they are? Do I want them to? Why, or why not?

This fact finding mission will reveal a ton of emotional intelligence gold. When you can shift from judgement to curiosity, there is an opportunity to not only learn more about your potential paramour, but also a great deal about yourself.

Old stories and emotional clutter can stop us from seeing people and experiences clearly, and it is only until when we can clear our emotional sight lines, through inquisitiveness, and stop the old dialogue before it gets started, that we can truly begin to see. What you will come to realize through this process is, that often love is right there waiting for you, when you’re not busy running interference.

 

Want to dive into this topic further? Have something to say? Let’s talk about it! Visit my business page over on Facebook and post your comments, and will invite you to a LIVE conversation.

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