Be who you need.
Seems simple enough, but so often we abandon ourselves when it comes to matters of the heart, and then look to others to fill the vacancy.
We need to have our back. Fill our own cup. Be our very own best friend. Make choices from a place that honors us.
Now this may sound like a rebel cry for eternal singledom (cue ‘I don’t need anybody!!’ bullshit), and understandably that’s often where the confusion comes in (‘but, I don’t want to be alone…’).
Being the person you need does not mean you don’t need others, it simply means you are responsible for yourself.
And yes, love too.
We all need others. We are here to love and be loved, and are all capable of, and deserving of great love. Human beings are social creatures, we need each other, and when we are open to love’s possibilities, love has a way in, connection can happen. But when we operate from a place of hurt, worry, or pain, our hearts are closed and we are in the absence of love.
You can’t connect to love from a place of scarcity or lack.
The problem is, most look to others to feel love again. Giving up all of their power to another person to be responsible for their happiness.
No one can do that for you. No one. They will let you down everytime, because no one can be someone else’s everything. No one can complete you. It’s unfair and completely unrealistic (Jerry McGuire fans, I’m sorry, but it’s true).
That job is solely your own, and until you take it seriously and make the commitment and do the honest work, to learn it, and live it, you will remain unsatisfied and unhappy in your romantic experience.
Nothing outside of us makes us better, can fill our cup, or make us happy – it’s an inside job.
And the best place to start is to stop being needy, and instead BE the person you need.
The really cool part about truly getting this, and then being an embodiment of it? You will naturally attract the same kind of people that are loving themselves, and in turn can love you from a ‘full cup’ kinda place.
That’s when love gets to co-commune, instead of being co-dependent – and it’s a beautiful thing.
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